Taking a step back from any situation is an interesting thing, really. An objective look at a scenario can be eye-opening at the very least. Oftentimes it shows that the most obvious or mundane details tend to have a little bit of irony, humor, or befuddlement. Andy Rooney may have perfected it, but there are a lot of writers how there that have yet to exploit it. Until now.
Have you ever noticed that…
Commentators calling a game in which Brett Favre is playing can’t just say his first or last name. It’s always, “Look at Brett Favre out there having fun” or “That’s a Brett Favre play, right there.” Even Favre can’t even identify himself without using his first and last name. In press conferences, in movies, everywhere. Recall his first coming-out-of-retirement press conference when he said, “Well, we’ll just have to see how many Brett Favre fans are truly Brett Favre fans.” Well, in the immortal words of Jon Gruden, “That’s just vintage Brett Favre.”
And, heck it’s the exact opposite for Peyton Manning. Commentators call him by his first name only. I know he is a likable guy. His Sprint commercials are great. The Oreo ads with his brother, may be even better. But I fail to recall when everyone in the media became best friends with this him.
Umpires are always scowling. Then again if the fans were always riding me I might not want to be smiling either. I know it’s a tough job guys but damn, don’t take it too seriously. You could have a heart attack and die, fellas. Remember the late John McSherry?
Fans always call Kobe Bryant a “team killer” because he always wants to take the shot. It’s almost like they choose to forget that he is the best player on the team. Of course he is going to take the most shots. Who do you want shooting the ball more: Michael Jordan or Scottie Pippen? Brandon Roy or Rudi Fernandez? King James or Daniel Gibson? Yes, he may take 50 shots a game but 25 will count. Compare that to Sasha Vujacic who may hit 15.
Finding a sports writer who isn’t fat—or at least carrying a little bit of extra weight—is surprising. Here’s a group of people who eat sodium-filled, fat-injected, nutrient deprived food on a regular basis so that (a smaller and smaller percentage of) Americans can open up the morning sports page. It’s no wonder these guys are all biter by the age of 40. After 20 years of eating Top-Ramen, I’d hate my life too.
If a Mountain West school doesn’t have an identity on the football field they are “finding themselves” and if an SEC team has the same problem they are simply “good at everything.” A lot of people point to the coaches—as if they are just better in the SEC. Or those same people say the players are just better, faster, stronger. Too bad Urban Meyer coached at Utah before he went to Florida and the level of athleticism isn’t that much higher in Florida. I’m sure Utah linebacker Mike Wright can bench just as much as Florida’s Ryan Stamper. He’s probably just as much game-speed. And Wright has two interceptions to boot.
Guys who like bowling enough to buy their own ball and shoes are usually the same guys who get bent out of shape in a game of Scrabble or Monopoly.
People that post on message boards and fan forums are always the most emotionally unstable fans. They are the guys who claim national champs after a three-game winning streak and that the season is tanked after a bad loss. These also tend to be the same people that chant the same phrase all game long—regardless of game situation.
They are also known as Oregon Duck Fans.
Leave a Reply