20 more rumors I wish I could start

There are time when athletes create enough buzz. They don’t need hype, they are their own circus. But there are times when athletes need help making the headlines. Here are some examples of rumors, that aren’t true, but would deserve a little attention.

1. Keegan Fitzgerald of the gymnastics team wants to date me – still.
2. Sammie Stroughter loves Sir Mix-A-Lot and considers himself the All-American, wide receiver.
3. Women’s Basketball coach LaVonda Wagner once beat Chuck Norris. Not in a game of basketball but in hand-to-hand combat. Don’t believe me? Challenge her to a fight.
4. Larry Liebowitz caught and killed a Chupacabra on his honeymoon in Costa Rica, with his bare hands, and he didn’t even spill his beer.
5. Roeland Schaftenaar’s original name was Witte Bliksem but he changed it because it was “too flashy.”
6. Women’s Golf earned top honors at a recent tournament in California. Not on the course, but afterwards when in the clubhouse, Julianna Uhrik took a swing at Michelle Wie and knocked her out cold. Everyone everywhere is happier.
7. Marcel Jones only plays basketball to hone his acting skills. Without “Oscar material” like faking a charge in the paint.
8. Mike Parker, voice of the Beavers, desperate to call a good game of basketball, was seen at calling play-by-play on the ‘A’ court in Dixon all week. Matt Davis was providing the color commentary.
9. Other Pac-10 basketball programs are scouting the Beaver players for transfer players next season
10. Mike Stutes started a new fraternity last fall named Mu Lambda Beta. Where the beds are warm, the food is plentiful and there is an endless supply of Icy Hot, ice buckets, and groupies.
11. No NCAA Athletes get paid any money to play sports. Ever.
12. After watching Pac-Man Jones, Brandon Hughes has decided to enter the NFL Draft in order to get his pro wrestling career started.
13. Beaver softball player Karmen Holladay’s favorite player is Alex Rodriguez. Actually that one is true and it sickens me.
14. The head of the Beavers marketing team responsible for the current “WARNING…” campaign that warns people about the Beaver Fever graduated from Oregon State in 1999 with a degree in safety. And he is serious.
15. Tracy McGrady looks like that because of Mercedes Fox Griffin’s cross-over
16. When asked “Do you trust a man with two first names?” Mike Riley, Jay John and Pat Casey had the same answer.
17. Taras Liskevych was going to manage a baseball team until he realized the sport was full of steroids. That’s when he chose to coach in the Olympics.
18. No one has seen Gerrard Lawson since the football season ended. Some say he flew down to UCLA to “get even.”
19. The Pink Meet held by the gymnastics team was nearly re-named three years ago when sponsors were worried about the ensuing innuendos.
20. Kirk Walker helped Brianne McGowan petition for another year of eligibility. McGowan was granted another year of eligibility after she filled out her appeal form with “C’mon” in every blank.