Well, it’s been great. Break out the confetti and kazoos. Bring a clown and some streamers. Put pin the tail on the donkey on one side of the room and Twister on the other. The adult beverages are on me, the food is free and the guest list is all-inclusive. No discrimination here, everybody is invited, even Kyle DeVan. It’s time to party.
Get the party hats out, blow the party favor things (you know the ones that have their rolled up paper on the end and unroll when you blow them, making a funny noise) and start the song “Holiday” by Madonna and put it on repeat.
No, Mike Riley hasn’t named his starting quarterback yet, but after more than a year and 43 columns along with copious amounts of headaches for Steve Fenk, Nick Lilja has decided to emulate Carl Grove and move on down the dusty road.
That’s right, I have decided to retract my pen. I can only imagine the fall out: chaos in the streets, riots everywhere, and frogs falling from the skies. Either that or Beaver Nation will rejoice – simultaneously. DeVan is high-fiving Matt Moore over the phone as you read this, Brandon Hughes is wiping sweat off his forehead and I can just see the look of joy on every person in the athletic department’s face. I’d even bet Oregon State President Ed Ray is letting out a sigh of relief.
“He’s gone! He’s gone!” I can hear the chants now. Does this chain of events sadden me? Does it hurt to hear everyone talking down to me week after week because my opinion differs from that of the mainstream? Am I tired of writing tongue-and-cheek material? No way. Nothing makes me happier than a group of people clamoring at the mention of my name – regardless of its connotation.
I’m not worried. I’m moving to bigger and better things. Okay, so “better” might be a stretch.
It’s going to be hard to top. It’s been nothing but high times for the Oregon State sports teams over the past year and three months. A lot has happened since I called out Beaver student fans for being the lamest excuse for fans on the planet.
Shout out to those people who were screaming, “Put in Canfield” all last season while Moore was proving me wrong. It only took a year but it’s about to come true. So make sure your Canfield jerseys are crisp for the first game because “SC-5″ is coming, perhaps. Personally, I like the 5’11”, 226-pound Lyle Moevao. He has a quicker release, better follow through and is more mobile in the pocket.
But really, out of the 453 days I have been employed, at least 400 have been great days to be a Beaver. Wait, I take that back, how long was the basketball season? Okay, maybe 350 days. While I love the basketball team and Jay John, last season hurt.
If Terry Liskevych is right and “success breeds success,” then the Beavers are going to continue to roll in the Pac-10 for many years to come because in the 453 days I have been employed, there have been some exciting moments.
Our teams have run train on the competition: two national championships in baseball, a Sun Bowl victory in football, a bid to nationals in gymnastics and two 40-win seasons in softball. Now at the start of another football season some people believe the Beavers could be the sleeper pick for the Rose Bowl.
Damn. It’s too bad I won’t be around to comment on them. Hopefully I will survive, some how, some way. I will turn into that guy who constantly calls into the Joe Beaver Show trying to grasp onto some medium to share my views on the latest Beaver stories.
Just kidding, I’m not that desperate.
Leave a Reply