1. The people who made the “CAN RILEY” sign were dyslexic, die-hard Beaver fans.
2. The guy who started the “Poke the other team’s quarterback” group on Facebook is related to John David Booty and says the Booty always loves a good poke.
3. Secretly, Matt Moore has been working out a promotional deal with M&Ms that will feature the slogan “Melts in the pocket, not in your hand.”
4. Taras Liskevych dated Misty May and Kerri Walsh at the same time.
5. The wrestling team doesn’t like to cosmic bowl due to the numerous “pin”-related jokes.
6. The cheerleaders and dance team hate each other and plan to have a dance-off at halftime during the USC game on the alumni side of Reser. The dance-off is going to be sponsored by Viagra.
7. The athletic department has contacted Nas to perform at halftime of the Civil War game. Ironically he plans to do “One Mic” and remind everyone that QB doesn’t stand for quarterback.
8. Angelo Tsagarakis is so good at poker that ESPN turned him away from the World Series of Poker championship, claiming his student visa didn’t allow him to participate and that they only accepted American Express.
9. Running in large circles is an aphrodisiac, which is why every girl on the cross country team has a boyfriend. Including Neoma Palmer, which sucks.
10. Mike Stutes and Brianne McGowan are having a child, and they said they are going to call it Homer regardless of the child’s sex.
11. The workers who built the new side of Reser purposefully put the handicapped viewing areas behind the student section because they have a very bad sense of humor.
12. Matt Moore uses cheesy pick up lines. At a party last week with fellow football player Joe Newton he attempted to pick up a girl by saying, “Alright, you saw my tight end – now I get to see yours.” And it worked.
13. Jay John is a huge Simpsons fan and is changing his name to Joey-Joe-Joe Junior Shabbidou, which is still the worst name I’ve ever heard.
14. Laura-Ann Chong of the gymnastics team set a world record on her first visit to Reser Stadium by tripping on the escalator and falling down the stairs for two and a half hours.
15. Liam Hughes is Shaq’s third cousin twice removed.
16. Mike Hass ran a 3.6-second 40 yard dash and a 6.1-second cone drill in 2004. Then someone told him he was a white guy from Portland, Oregon. The rest is history.
17. Ebony Young beat Mark Curry in a game of one-on-one for the rights to “Hangin with Mr. Cooper.” Ebony dunked over Mark for the game-winning point. Mark Curry hasn’t recovered since.
18. Men’s Golf bought new T-shirts emblazoned with “OSU Golf: it’s all about a hole in one.”
19. Sabby Piscitelli will be on the cover of next year’s NCAA Football because the makers of the game are attempting to market the game towards girls from the age of 14-27.
20. The Webb twins used to watch TGIF and wanted to star in their own series “Brother, Brother,” until they found out that they both had a crush on Tia and didn’t speak to each other for 6 years.
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