The 2011 NFL Popularity Contest Week 1 continues… with teams 22-11:
22. Cleveland Browns – I actually like them this year. Not to make the playoffs. But I like them. Colt McCoy? Legit. They’ve got good things on the horizon. Just not a near horizon. A distant horizon. Like a 2013 horizon.
Audioslave – The Shape of Things to Come
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuLVaqpdGQk
21. Tennessee Titans – Chris Johnson ended his holdout. Since there was no real off-season and he hasn’t been a part of the incredibly brief pre-season, we know nothing about what kind of shape he’s in. He could ink that contract and show up for practice missing a kidney and with a wicked case of tuberculosis.
Not to mention the new QB in town…
Matt Hasselbeck; scary QB. Not a cool scary though. Not like, 2007 Tom Brady or collegiate Vince Young scary. Matt’s scary in a boom/bust kinda way. He’s a perfect fusion of Chad Pennington and Jay Cutler. From pass to pass you’re like, ‘What an amazing pass! (10 seconds later.) Oh! Oh god! Why!? Why did you throw that pass!?!?’
Metallica – Turn the Page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMqNFAU0tOw
20. Jacksonville Jaguars – David Garrard! Need I say more? Ok, I will. Experts (not me) are predicting a down year for MJD and I can’t name three defensive players on this squad. 8.5 wins? I’ll take the under.
Brandon Flowers – Jacksonville
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnk8hTTiglY
19. Houston Texans – Nope. Not this year either.
Silversun Pickups – No Secrets This Year
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqZHIQp0ok0
18. Arizona Cardinals – KeKo’s back! And in a new uni! YAAAY! Seriously, this is what happened: the day Kevin Kolb arrived in Arizona, he went up to Larry Fitzgerald and said, ‘I am so sorry for what those quarterbacks did to you last year. I, am not them. I will get you the ball. I will get it to you in stride. I will not lay you out to get murdered by defensive-backs. These are promises.’ Ok, obviously I made that up. But KeKo is painfully aware of what happened to Larry last year while he was getting thrown to by the likes of John Skelton (my boy!). Look for KeKo and Fitzy to have an intimate relationship. In like…a cool QB -> WR kinda way.
This is for you Fitzy.
Aerosmith – Back in the Saddle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIPS4LyveJs
17. St. Louis Rams – No respect for these guys. Probably because they couldn’t beat the Seattle Seahawks last year when it was the key to a playoff berth. ANYWAY. Things’ll improve this year. You might not remember, because he was so poised, but Sammy Bradford (his friends call him Sammy, I’m sure) was a rookie last year.
Good things ahead for the Lambs. Sorry. Rams.
This is a supremely terrible song (don’t ask why I know it).
Hinder – The Best is Yet to Come
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOvKALH55Vs
16. Detroit Lions – These guys are scary this year. If (yes I know this is a big if) Matt Stafford stays healthy, the Lions are going to surprise some teams. No longer a laughing stock, you can’t just chalk up the ‘W’ against the once lowly Detroit Lionesses.
This is what it feels like when they blitz.
Muse – Hysteria
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7la0SndoCI
15. Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler is still the Bears quarterback. That’s awesome for 31 of the 32 teams. This year’s biggest rivalry in the NFC North is going to be between the Bears and Lions. I find it unlikely that they’ll book a repeat trip to the NFC Championship game.
Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ488QrqGE4
14. New York Football Giants – I get it. They won a Superbowl in 2007. Eli Mannig out-dueled Tom Brady. But they have been nothing more than shakily competitive since and their pre-season has been anything but uplifting. Injuries and offensive incompetence have been the primary storylines. My prediction is the Giants continue their downward spiral, miss the playoffs and say goodbye to Tom Coughlin as the fans grow more impatient with Eli’s inconsistency.
The Music – Take the Long Road and Walk It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ospxlZZM2Hw
13. Dallas Cowboys – Every year is supposed to be the Cowboy’s year. Remember last year? The new stadium? The destiny of Superbowl home field advantage? That didn’t quite go as planned. (Which I called btw in last years inaugural Popularity Contest. That my friends, is called gloating.)
So why are people so high on the Cowboys this year? They had a below average defense last year and their “lights out” offense is made up of Tony Romo (returning from a broken clavicle), Felix Jones (dear god don’t let him end up on my Fantasy team), Dez Bryant (also injured last year) and Miles Austin (the only stud of the group).
I think they have lots of potential. But I do see the Cowboys as a playoff lock. No sir. Especially when you take into account their brutal division.
This is a bit harsh but…
Three Days Grace – Overrated
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbp9B1Sg1Ds
12. Kansas City Chiefs – They were in the playoffs last year? Are you sure? Wow. They had the top rushing offense in the league last year and the 30th passing offense. So for this year I predict…I’ve got no idea. I don’t even know if Matt Cassel is a good quarterback. Do you? Tweet me.
Jamaal Charles carried the ball 15 fewer times than Thomas Jones last year, but for roughly 500 more yards. 500! I think we can expect more good things from JC. Not TJ. JC.
The Audition – Running Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJdb5kwWUk4
11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Josh Freeman will throw the ball more. And probably better. And the Bucs no longer have a featured back named after a car (Cadillac Williams). These are all good things. Granted they replaced the car guy with the face punch guy, but that’s neither here nor there. They were on the cusp of the playoffs last year and the slightest improvement could get them there this year. Josh Freeman’s development at QB could be all the difference.
The Decemberists – The Mariner’s Revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaNV7eCU2R0
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