There are a lot of rumors that fly around the sports world. In fact, I would venture a guess that nearly half of the rumors that are started – are started from nothing. Just an educated guess by someone with a big ego.
First Guy: “Oh yeah, I heard from a guy whose cousin dating this girl whose father was in the Marines with Steve Young that Fab Melo is going to make the jump to the Pros…”
Second Guy: When was Steve Young in the Marines?
First Guy: ‘Nam.
Third Guy: Put the whiskey down old man.
It used to happen in bars. Then the advent of the “fan forum” gave people the ability to hide in the shadows while making outlandish claims. It even gave these rumors a set of pretty decent legs. Now, these rumors are conjured up and spread on Twitter.
Sometimes, I wish I had the guts (and the lack of integrity with no Code of Ethics) to do that. Just throw something out, knowing it probably wasn’t true, in the hopes it sticks.
Well, today, it is. Today I give the 10 (possibly true) rumors I wish I could start…
1. Cleveland Cavalier Daniel Gibson tallied a five-point play against the Detroit Pistons in celebration of The [Five] Daily’s one month anniversary.
2. The NBA regular season will be shortened next year. The teams will only play in playoff games. Teams without a player with a contract totaling more than $30 million will be automatically eliminated. The NBA’s new slogan: “Cuttin’ out the BS”
3. The NHL is popular. So is the MLS.
4. The Philadelphia Athletics had to move to Oakland because all the players were getting to fat eating Philly cheese steaks.
5. Brett Favre has never been involved in any form of sexual misconduct.
6. Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski’s dad was Joe Camel.
7. Manny Ramirez’ choice of steroid: his own ego. That is why his head got so big.
8. The Masters’ ratings were the second highest in the past decade. Most of the viewers were Tiger Woods’ former mistresses screamingat the TV every time he lined up a putt.
9. The Canseco Brothers plan on releasing a video game this fall modeled after The Mario Brothers. Instead of bouncing on Gumbas and Koopa Troopas to save the princess they will extort money from unsuspecting business people to save their mortgages. And to win the game both Cansecos must throw every former MLB hitter under a giant bus.
10. The former University of San Diego assistant basketball coach and two former players that allegedly conspired to affect the outcome of games all had names with b, r, o, n, d, and a. That spells Brando – which happens to tbe the name of a sportsbar in Vegas. Where gambling often takes place. Coincidence? I think not.
11. The NHL will move its regular season to the summer time so ESPN has something else besides homers and double plays to show as highlights. Added benefit is the opportunity to go to a ice hockey arena during the warmest time of the year instead of the coldest time of the year. (Compare eating ice cream one a warm sunny July day to eating ice cream on day that is below freezing in January…how often would you do one compared to the other?)
12. All Performance enhancing methods (drugs, etc) will become illegal starting Jan 2012. This will affect sports but mostly fan’s lives. Think about how many drugs or surgerys are performed every day to enchance one’s “performance”. You have Viagra, male enhancements, boob jobs, face lifts, butt lifts, lipo, etc. As a society we are all for performance enhancing anything, but for some reason in sports we say no thank you. We want it o’ natural. We want our athletes to be the exact opposite of ourselves and especially if our woman. Why?
11. The NHL will move its regular season to the summer time so ESPN has something else besides homers and double plays to show as highlights. Added benefit is the opportunity to go to a ice hockey arena during the warmest time of the year instead of the coldest time of the year. (Compare eating ice cream one a warm sunny July day to eating ice cream on day that is below freezing in January…how often would you do one compared to the other?)
12. All Performance enhancing methods (drugs, etc) will become illegal starting Jan 2012. This will affect sports but mostly fan’s lives. Think about how many drugs or surgerys are performed every day to enchance one’s “performance”. You have Viagra, male enhancements, boob jobs, face lifts, butt lifts, lipo, etc. As a society we are all for performance enhancing anything, but for some reason in sports we say no thank you. We want it o’ natural. We want our athletes to be the exact opposite of ourselves and especially if our woman. Why?