Nobody asked me but…

It’s that time of the year again. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the clichés are raining out of the sky like similes in a Jim Murray column. And its the time where I remind you all that, much like Jimmy Cannon, nobody asked me but…

Lists are only fun for the reader. To a columnist it’s filler for something big that’s coming and a columnist who loves lists, is lazy.

The guy who asked new basketball coach, Craig Robinson, “Hillary or Obama” should be quit his job. No journalist should try to be a stand-up comedian. Especially during a press conference.

Robinson, though, reminds me about finding a ten dollar bill under a seat cushion when looking for a quarter. People will be surprised, Oregon State got lucky.

All gymnasts run funny. They run even funnier during the vault.

Bob Lillie is right, if affirmative action is really supposed to work, it’s interesting that no women were interviewed to coach the men’s basketball team.

Saying the words “Matt Moore,” followed by “NFL Quarterback” make me giggle. But at the same time, I’m excited for him to prove me wrong – or right.

Parking Services is unconstitutional. Students shouldn’t be guilty until proven innocent.

I don’t hate the Huskies, but I hate Husky fans. Being pompous A-holes about a 4-9 football season is like parading around after signing a coach for a new baseball team. Great job Ducks, you will now be good in a eight years rather than 15.

Shout out to “high school sports guy.” No one cares that you hit .329 for West (insert city here) high school or that you had 11 touchdowns in three games before you tore your ACL.

Even worse is “used to play college sports guy” who reminds everyone he played for College of the Siskouis for two years.

Students that leave a baseball game before the 7th inning, “because it’s cold,” shouldn’t be allowed to pick up another student ticket for the remainder of the season.

People who walk around campus on their cell phone are fine. People who walk around on their cell phone screaming about how many parties they were at last Friday are either in the greek system, slutty, lushes or all of the above. Regardless of sex.

Mike Riley running backs are better. On paper, in person, and running off-tackle for a first down on 3rd-and-9. That doesn’t mean the play calling isn’t subject to debate, though.

The 1,000 fans that showed up to every game last season should get a discount on renewing their season tickets. Last season they didn’t get what they paid for.

Discussing plans to “get high” makes you a stoner.

Guys who complain about playing college basketball for a year or college football for two years before turning pro, never amount to anything. Look it up.

In the battle of the Candace’s, I like Parker over Wiggins in a dunk contest and Wiggins over Parker in a 3-pt shootout.

Fans who think there is no east coast bias haven’t ever been west of the Rockies. Nor have they been out of the cave they are living in.

If you are in a relationship and argue for the sake of arguing, buy a ring, you’re married. IF that argument leads to the silent treatment from your partner, call it quits.

I’m not worried about the Oregon State baseball team’s post-season chances. They have a high enough RPI and they always peak at the right time. May.

Bladder infections are funny to hear about, regardless.

Running cures all ills, except shin splints and planar faciatus. If you have Restless Leg Syndrome, go for a run, they won’t be restless after 12 miles.

Oregon State swimmer, Saori Haruguchi might not be the first swimmer to represent their country in the Olympics after swimming for the Beavers but she deserves more credit than she is receiving.

Pre-season rankings are a joke. There is no way that anyone can tell which football team is better in April. But the Beavers should be about 23rd.