It is what it is

So it happened. The men’s basketball staff couldn’t pull off a win in the Pac-10. They finish the year 0-18 and have one last show to get a win in the Pac-10 Tournament. As Paddy Tanninger the Caddy Manager would say, “Big whoop, wanna fight about it?”

At least the players tried. It felt like the coaching staff didn’t care. It’s like they picked the starting line-ups out of a hat. How about a trade, Seth Tarver for Joey McConnell? Sounds like a lopsided basketball card trade on a neighborhood corner. Yea, and Brandon Roy for Sergio Rodriguez.

But, that’s another story.

Regardless of who started, the front page still reads 0-18. Duck fans are rejoicing, Husky fans are laughing and the rest of the nation is receiving a fat dose of Beaver calamity on SportsCenter. But, so what? There are bigger fish to fry. Down the stretch “Legendary” Gill Mausoleum was home to a little over 5,000 (officially tallied) attendees per game. That’s a lie, though. Sure, the Beaver Dam represented well on Saturday, but most students were there to see history. Either happen, or not.

They got history. A big helping of it, too. A statistic that might have been lost in the hoopla was the Beavers tied a team record for the most 3-pointers made (13) and set a new mark in 3-pointers attempted (39). They were throwing up more prayers than a catholic mass, took more shots outside than a backyard barbeque at Delta Chi, and had more three’s than an acre of clover. Too much?

So it didn’t end on a completely sour note. But that doesn’t mean I’m not bitter. And it’s not what you’re thinking.

Shout out to who ever tallies the crowd: Stop lying to the world, there were not even close to an average of 5,000 people in Gill in the last five games.

5,000 people? Was the person counting cross-eyed? Seeing double? Triple? They tallied 4,111 – only seven fewer than the game against Cal on January 12 – in the final game against at Gill. There were more fans at the game last season against Bethune-Cookman in December, during finals week, than the game on Saturday.

Even if every fan, coach, band geek, event staff, media member, cheerleader, ant crawling on the floor, leaf falling from the ceiling and piece of broken glass – from a shattered window – was counted it wouldn’t and couldn’t add up to 5,000. A total of 5,321 people, ants, band members, leaves, and atoms of deuterium were counted at the game against Washington State. Too bad about 2,000 of the actual paying fans were Cougar fans – who cheered louder than the home crowd to boot.

But I shouldn’t be upset. Why pout when you can “Rally the Legend” or whatever nonsensical jibberish the Beaver Athletic Department’s marketer has decided to run. WARNING, rallying the legend is command 309: it aint over til its over.

Guess what, it’s over. That guy’s career, anyway. I hate to beat a dead horse but it takes one to know one, in this case.

Please stop warning, commanding and rallying through idioms. Only a fraction of the catch-phrases make sense. Here’s a new one, WARNING: This won’t help your resume.

If the fans want to come, they will come. If they don’t, they won’t. It’s a great thing to put fans in the seats, because Gill needs it, badly. Heck, it’s even better when they pay large sums of money for tickets, but it won’t happen with cheesy marketing schemes. Ever. There is a simple marketing solution to putting people in seats. Win. And if a team can’t win games deal with it. Don’t lie. Don’t be gimmicky.

Lying and gimmicks only diminishes the aura of Oregon State Athletics. Yes, 0-18 is a black mark on Beaver nation, but virtually begging people to come to games with gimmicks and cheesy one-liners while counting an invisible 2,000 fans is worse.